8 months
8 whole months now.
and the pain won't disappear.
I miss you Charlotte.
More than ever.
Sunday, 26 October 2008
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
In Another Life
erm yeah
ignore that
I got really down
and I meen really far down
ignore it
really
serious
just
dont ask
please?
ignore that
I got really down
and I meen really far down
ignore it
really
serious
just
dont ask
please?
Ever Dream
It's been nearly 8 months now, this pain doesnt seem too end no matter what I do or what I say, so much has happened too me this year, and all I end up thinking is how I can make things better for myself. And that's how I get the way I am now. I need time out. If you don't hear from me don't worry, it's nothing personal, I just need space too think everything out right now. I have a fear of falling, but I constantly am, so why arent I scared?
That's all from me for now, as I said don't worry about me. It's not worth your time.
That's all from me for now, as I said don't worry about me. It's not worth your time.
Her Middle Name Was Boom
2 new poems today, again not inspired by anything at all.... mere characters I've created and then written poems about, 'm strange like that ya know. I feel good as it gives me something kinda worthwhile too do whilst sitting here doing nothing feeling...well anyway...yeah, got a couple of days off from work and then the pandemonium starts again. Hoorah. I'm enjoying writting again, ho yes, the passion is back.. and this time with a vengeance. I just need to dig out my story now.......ho crap....where could it be?
Nobody else has ever seen it, I doubt anybody ever will. It needs heavy editing and still needs a proper start and finish. Ah well gives me something too aim for in the next 10 months until university. Seems a long way off yet.
Bought Star Wars Renegade Squadron for the PSP the other day, needless too say it's pretty darn good, but far too short and easy, and has no replay value at all really, which is a shame, hopefully the next effort by the Battlefront team will suffice, although I doubt that to be honest.
I'm skint again already, although I do get paid on Friday for my work at Shelly's and then again on Monday for my work at the Capitol, though that will go straight in the savings kitty for driving lessons/university. It's all fun really. All this work and I can't even treat myself. Ah but I hear you cry, you bought a game. Yes. I did. But with money my grandparents gave me, which is meant for treating myself. So nyer, stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Lostprophets - Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast)
Nobody else has ever seen it, I doubt anybody ever will. It needs heavy editing and still needs a proper start and finish. Ah well gives me something too aim for in the next 10 months until university. Seems a long way off yet.
Bought Star Wars Renegade Squadron for the PSP the other day, needless too say it's pretty darn good, but far too short and easy, and has no replay value at all really, which is a shame, hopefully the next effort by the Battlefront team will suffice, although I doubt that to be honest.
I'm skint again already, although I do get paid on Friday for my work at Shelly's and then again on Monday for my work at the Capitol, though that will go straight in the savings kitty for driving lessons/university. It's all fun really. All this work and I can't even treat myself. Ah but I hear you cry, you bought a game. Yes. I did. But with money my grandparents gave me, which is meant for treating myself. So nyer, stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Lostprophets - Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast)
Monday, 13 October 2008
Butterflies And Hurricanes
I feel good, somehow i've fund in myself the ability too sit and write again. It's not much but I've already written a couple of small poems, not inspired by anything or too do with anybody or myself, before you wonder. I will post a link too a new blog I will put them in later. Read them if you like, I dont mind to be honest.
Thursday, 9 October 2008
Paper Wings
....I can wish but it won't....no....can't come true.....It's impossible....
Anyway, had a great night out last night for Katie's birthday, went too Tortellinis and then to the Malt Shovel for a drink. Then came home and had a really bad night's sleep, it was awful I just had so many thoughts running through my head, not even bad things. or things that have been troubling me anyway....they were just random thoughts I suppose.
Work tonight, joy of all joys, 22:30pm - 2:30am. Sound fun too you? Teehee, then work Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, it's all good really, just leaves me completey shattered and my body clock will be in a complete mess so the time I have too myself during the day dissapears because I fall asleep....yay.
More from me later.
Nine Inch Nails: Every Day Is Exactly The Same
Sunday, 5 October 2008
Before I Forget
I just realised, you all may want a translation of the song lyrics, sorry I didnt't post them earleir, I plain forgot while I was at work, and when I got home, I feel asleep until dinner lol.
So here they are;
As though the shades of sadness are transcending
the peaceful night sky
If you don't understand
I want to make you understand
Everything that you ought to know
From far away I can see your unwiped tears
The words that I can't hold on to are ringing out
If the world should end
Surely in that moment you'd understand
That without knowing the answer, my solitary heart closed
The hectic world goes on
as though the sound of sadness can't be heard
If meeting face to face is still a distant thought
Then I'll reject just a little this peaceful daily life
Penetrating through everything
A heart with strong resolve won't be swayed
Even on a night when a last wish can't be granted
Relying on the night sky
The river of my closed heart
Silently shimmers without anyone knowing
If the world should end
In that moment, surely, I'd be able to say it
Like tracing the overflowing memories, I'll tell you that
Reflected in your eyes was the bloom of a solitary heart
As I said earlier, once you understand the lyrics, you'll find the song even more beautiful.
Laters....
So here they are;
As though the shades of sadness are transcending
the peaceful night sky
If you don't understand
I want to make you understand
Everything that you ought to know
From far away I can see your unwiped tears
The words that I can't hold on to are ringing out
If the world should end
Surely in that moment you'd understand
That without knowing the answer, my solitary heart closed
The hectic world goes on
as though the sound of sadness can't be heard
If meeting face to face is still a distant thought
Then I'll reject just a little this peaceful daily life
Penetrating through everything
A heart with strong resolve won't be swayed
Even on a night when a last wish can't be granted
Relying on the night sky
The river of my closed heart
Silently shimmers without anyone knowing
If the world should end
In that moment, surely, I'd be able to say it
Like tracing the overflowing memories, I'll tell you that
Reflected in your eyes was the bloom of a solitary heart
As I said earlier, once you understand the lyrics, you'll find the song even more beautiful.
Laters....
The Dark Of The Matinee
Yes they are song lyrics...
Song sung by Okiayu Ryoutarou who does the voice for Byakuya Kuchiki in Bleach...the song is sung in the character's voice also. It's more than beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F81SKm12_w
Song sung by Okiayu Ryoutarou who does the voice for Byakuya Kuchiki in Bleach...the song is sung in the character's voice also. It's more than beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F81SKm12_w
Yozora No Kawa (River Of The Night Sky)
Kanashimi no iro ga koete iru you ni
Shizuka na yozora ni
Kizukanu to shitara
Kizukasete hoshii
Shirubeki subete o
Tooku ni mieru nuguenu namida
Mamorikirenai kotoba wa hibiku
Sekai ga owaru nara
Sono toki ni wa wakaru darou ka
Kotae o shiranu mama hitotsu mune o tojita
Kanashimi no oto ga kikoenai you na
Sewashii sekai ga
Mukiau koto o toozakeru nara
Sukoshi kobameru odayaka na hibi
Subete o tsuranuite
Tsuyoku arou kokoro midasazu
Saigo no negai sae kanaerarenu yoru ni
Yozora ni azukete wa
Tojita mama no kokoro no kawa wa
Dare ni mo shirarezuni shizuka ni kagayaite
Sekai ga owaru nara
Sono toki ni wa ieru darou ka
Afureru omoide o nazoru you ni tsugeyou
Hitomi ga kasanatte hitotsu mune ni saita
Shizuka na yozora ni
Kizukanu to shitara
Kizukasete hoshii
Shirubeki subete o
Tooku ni mieru nuguenu namida
Mamorikirenai kotoba wa hibiku
Sekai ga owaru nara
Sono toki ni wa wakaru darou ka
Kotae o shiranu mama hitotsu mune o tojita
Kanashimi no oto ga kikoenai you na
Sewashii sekai ga
Mukiau koto o toozakeru nara
Sukoshi kobameru odayaka na hibi
Subete o tsuranuite
Tsuyoku arou kokoro midasazu
Saigo no negai sae kanaerarenu yoru ni
Yozora ni azukete wa
Tojita mama no kokoro no kawa wa
Dare ni mo shirarezuni shizuka ni kagayaite
Sekai ga owaru nara
Sono toki ni wa ieru darou ka
Afureru omoide o nazoru you ni tsugeyou
Hitomi ga kasanatte hitotsu mune ni saita
Never Wanted To Dance
zzzzzz *snore* zzzzzz.....huh wha? it's daytime..... :/
Last night at work, I must say was more than I expected, got shuvved into a busy night in Shelly's serving drinks, and all that jazz. But my my! it was so fun!! I didn't get tired at all, just seem to live off the adrenaline, it really is amazing. Although I am highly tired now, and have 30 mins before I go to work at the Capitol......niiice.
*sarcasm for the win*
Anyways I best go finish getting ready....laters.
Last night at work, I must say was more than I expected, got shuvved into a busy night in Shelly's serving drinks, and all that jazz. But my my! it was so fun!! I didn't get tired at all, just seem to live off the adrenaline, it really is amazing. Although I am highly tired now, and have 30 mins before I go to work at the Capitol......niiice.
*sarcasm for the win*
Anyways I best go finish getting ready....laters.
Saturday, 4 October 2008
Poem
Some of you probably recognise this from my Bebo, but this is a small poem I wrote not long ago now....I hardly use Bebo now so though I would move it here.
Take Me Away To That Special Place, Where The Grass Is Green, And The Wind Blows Soft. Where Time Stands Still And The Sun Never Sets. Where Rain Falls But Never Pours And Where Love Is Unrestricted. Where The Sun Shines But Doesn't Blind And Where I Can Lay In Your Arms Forever.
Take Me Away To That Special Place, Where The Grass Is Green, And The Wind Blows Soft. Where Time Stands Still And The Sun Never Sets. Where Rain Falls But Never Pours And Where Love Is Unrestricted. Where The Sun Shines But Doesn't Blind And Where I Can Lay In Your Arms Forever.
Acid Nation
I really should get up I'm going out in half an hour.....just need right something here really, I woke up early this morning, too just come on the laptop. I couldn't get back too sleep weirdly for me, I suppose I'll sleep more before work tonight.
9pm start at work......ouch......I hope I don't finish too late.....as I have work tomorrow aswell at 1pm...not nice having 2 jobs when the thought comes too it. Hopefully I won't have too work Wednesday as it's Katie's birthday....and I havent seen her for aaaages!
Anyways...onwards and upwards! (into town that is anyway)
Song: Give It All - Rise Against
9pm start at work......ouch......I hope I don't finish too late.....as I have work tomorrow aswell at 1pm...not nice having 2 jobs when the thought comes too it. Hopefully I won't have too work Wednesday as it's Katie's birthday....and I havent seen her for aaaages!
Anyways...onwards and upwards! (into town that is anyway)
Song: Give It All - Rise Against
Friday, 3 October 2008
The Beijing Cocktail
" I pray that something picks me up, sets me down in your warm arms "
Mum's birthday today, been out for a meal with her, Rachael and Mike. Hornbrook is nice place, just the food is very filling indeed, and the portions are flippin' massive! Just sitting at home now, waiting too see if any visitors will appear. Interview later on at Colours!! I hope it goes ok, I'm feeling quite nervous already :/ If the shifts clash with current work, I guess I'll have to see what I can get the most out of doing.
Downloaded some music from Bleach, well not Bleach directly but it's the actors singing songs, some with duets like Ichigo and Rukia, and Matsumoto and Ichimaru!! They are really cool, just need to find some translations lol.
More from me later.
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